Monday, July 21, 2008

Again a change

Sorry it has been so long since I updated this. I just couldn't. Again.. a change.
It has been a long hard month with me trying again to understand how there are 143 MILLION orphans in the world and here we are one family just wanting to bring home one child.. and people who say they are involved for the "good" of the children are making it hard!

Yep. So the day after I did my last post.. I must have had some sort of sense that something was up. I get an email from Wendy at Mercy, saying that they didn't make a right decision and that they should have given this child's mother more families to choose from. And I also got an email from Ted at Home of God's Love that he felt Mercy had decided not to work with us, "I believe God can and does forgive our past when we bring it before Him in repentance and surrender, but again, I don’t feel I can do this case myself." Why did Ted say this? Because Jay and I had been divorced and Ted does not work with divorced couples. Yet, in my bible God said that it is a SIN not to forgive and if you do not forgive you are sinning against God. But Ted would not do our papers or help us.
Both parties keep pointing fingers at each other, Ted blames Mercy, Mercy blames Ted.
It is a circus.
So I have hired an attorney. They have contacted Trenton's mom and have gone to her with our want to adopt her son. But at the same time Mercy, the Christian organization that is to help woman and children went in at the same time and slammed Jay and I to the birth mom.
So we again wait. The attorney has been a great help. It is so hard to try to take care of things when you are so many miles away and don't speak the language. I had to put my trust in someone. The attorney has followed through with everything and has made more progress in this few weeks than I have made in a year.
So we are just waiting.
I have to tell this part of the story also. I didn't make it up that Mercy and Ted had told me we were getting this child, I have emails to prove it. Ted, himself, sent me an emails stating I needed to pick an American name for him so that they could do the paperwork.
Also Mercy sent me the address to them and to the social worker who was taking Trenton to his birth mom for visits and then back to the foster mom so that I could mail gifts. Jay and I filled two boxes full of gifts so that the foster mom had everything she would need for a few months to care for him. With shipping it was into the hundreds of dollars for these boxes.
Mercy offered to send the box back. Total would have been $80.00 round trip.. for a box of socks, blankets and clothes for the other babies at Mercy. I told them to keep the box.
But what I really got steamed up about is that I was told Ted offered to pay us back for the two boxes that went to the social worker. There was a few hundred dollars worth of clothes and toys for him... where was Ted going to get this money.. from the money that is donated for the kids in his care? Does that clear up their consciences to mail me back the boxes or to pay for them?
And tell me this.. each item in those boxes to Trenton was pick FOR Trenton, our son, from us. We laughed and planned as we picked out each item, we made dreams and plans for the future.. please Ted, how were you going to pay us back for our dreams and plans?
Sorry my post is so nasty. It has taken me an entire month to not be even worse. And yes, I have to ask God every day for forgiveness because I get so upset with these people!
I have also found out that I have been lied to by these people as they keep saying Mercy has custody of Trenton.. but the attorney's found out that the birth mom never signed her rights away. So it is the birth mom that has the rights.
So all I can do now is pray that she reads my letter to her along with the letter the attorney sent her and that she sees that we are a good family that wants to love her son!

DEEP BREATHS! There is some sunshine at the end of this cloud.
I signed us up for an exchange student. Call me a glutton for punishment .. but we qualify for a student, with divorces, short length of marriage, too many children.. and not being "Christian" enough for Home of God's Love.. we do qualify for an exchange student!
She is a beautiful girl that will be in 12th grade and have her birthday two weeks after she gets here. We are planning a BBQ for her! LOL One of the students wrote that they wanted to come to America to see how the neighbors have parties... they had watched American TV! So I figured a BBQ would be the way to go!
We have been chatting with her on the yahoo and she is so excited to come here also!
So even though I don't get to keep her.. she will call me mom and be my child for a year!!
I will post more about her down the road!!!

Please say a prayer that Trenton's mom comes to a decision and please pray that we are that decision!

2 comments:

Sarah k said...

Ginnie,
You know my heart goes out to you. I am very upset on your behalf. I knew that independent adoption could be hard but I never dared think it would be the Christians on the other end that would be the ones to upset the egg cart the worst. I am sorry for your hurt and pain and I pray that God's will shine beyond what any man can hold nor control. In the end God always wins and His will must be done.

Steve n Coco said...

I'm so sorry this has been such a tough road for you. Sarah K is right, THY will be done.
Courtney